


Tuesday

by Kamaxi



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamaxi/pseuds/Kamaxi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was Tuesday and Nico Di Angelo was terrified. Today was finally going to be the day he sucked it up and told his long time crush, Percy Jackson, his true feelings... It was bound to be brutal. One-sided, Percy/Nico; Percy/Annabeth</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tuesday

It was Tuesday and Nico Di Angelo was terrified. Today was finally going to be the day he sucked it up and told his longtime crush, Percy Jackson, his true feelings.

It was bound to be brutal.

Nico was no homewrecker—he knew Percy was deeply involved with their friend Annabeth. He didn't even want them to break up, not really. It was just that these feelings inside of him had been boiling under his skin for as long as he could remember, cliché as it sounded, and he had a desperate hope that maybe if he just let it all out…maybe then he could have some peace.

His sister Bianca had once told him that keeping something hidden only made the idea stronger, gave it more power over you. But that was ages ago, now. His other sister Hazel had looked at him with big sad eyes and told him that loving someone was letting them be happy, and not blaming them for it.

In a life as short and unforgiving as that of a demigod, Nico could relate to both. It was important to let those you loved be happy, and if that meant he had to give up his fantasy of being with Percy, then he was okay with that. But he also wanted to be happy himself. He could sacrifice his love for the other man's happiness, but he wouldn't give up his own chance to be free. If telling the truth about this horrible secret could do that, then Nico had to try.

Glancing at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, Nico let out a small laugh. He was pleasantly surprised that it was only half mocking. Progress, he thought. Baby steps. Experimentally he attempted a grin that turned out more like a grimace.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice echoing through his cabin, "Hey ghost boy! You gonna sit in here staring at yourself all day? We've got work to do!" The loud (and if he was being honest, slightly obnoxious) voice of Leo Valdez broke his reverie. The other demigod sauntered in without waiting for an invitation and started dragging him out the door.

"Seriously, man," Nico half-growled when they were outside and Leo had let go, "I really don't like to be touched."

But Leo brushed him off with a wry grin and brusque pat of the shoulder, "Uh-huh, yeah. I just can't believe you've been staring at yourself all day. There's so much to do! Jason's been going nuts looking for you! And Annabeth needs your help later with the—"

"Yeah I know," Nico cut him off, brushing imaginary dust off the spot where his friend's hand had been previously. "And if Jason needed to speak with me so badly, why didn't he just check my cabin? Really should've been the first place he looked."

Leo smiled brightly, "Hell if I know, dude. He's _Jason_. I don't think _anybody_ really knows how the guy thinks." He seemed to give this some thought, "Well, maybe Piper."

At this, Nico couldn't help but thin his lips in irritation, "Maybe Piper, indeed," he parroted, hoping the conversation would end there.

Honestly it seemed to. Leo was kind of giving him a weird look, but aside from a select few people that was how his presence was normally tolerated, Hero of Olympus or no. Nico made a vague gesture with his hands to signal he was leaving, and headed off to the arena where he knew he'd find Jason. To his surprise, Leo followed him. They walked silently side by side.

"Don't tell me you don't like Piper now _too_ …" Leo finally stated. It was kind-of a question, but (in true Leo style) an utterly baffling one.

"Why would I dislike Piper? She's nice enough, saved us a few times. Plus she isn't annoying like some _other_ people." Perhaps that was too pointed. Was that too pointed? Sure Nico had made an uninterested remark when Leo had brought up Piper, but that was more targeted at the other man than anyone else.

But Leo graciously ignored the insult, if he heard it at all, "Well I don't know why you'd dislike Piper, honestly. It's just that, you kind of seem to dislike Annabeth for no reason, and the only girl you talk to is Hazel, your sister…" Nico stopped in his tracks abruptly and glared.

"That is an absolute lie! Annabeth is one of my oldest and dearest friends! Who do you think you are, spreading rumors that I don't like her?"

"Look I just call it like I see it, okay?" Leo defended, hands up.

"No," Nico fumed, "Not okay! And so what if the only girl I talk to is Hazel? Maybe that's because Hazel is the only person who understands what it's like to be an outsider even among friends!" No, that wasn't completely true. Hazel did understand, but she didn't seem to feel that same removed aura that Nico always did around others.

"Dude! You are the only person who feels that way! Everyone likes you and accepts you as you are. There's no need to hide under that 'Son of Hades' exterior anymore, so why won't you talk to us?"

Maybe it was time for Nico to wonder if perhaps he felt removed for some other reason. A reason wholly unrelated to his unholy parentage.

"I don't talk because I've got nothing to say!"

_Except I like men. And Percy-fucking-Jackson._

"Alright, alright! I know when I've been beat. Just…know that we're here for you, okay? All of us." It was so hard to look him in the face, why was it so hard? But Leo was all sunny disposition and unswerving loyalty that Nico felt a lump in his throat. Instead of replying he just left, too embarrassed to give an answer in the face of such friendship.

Somewhere deep down, Nico knew that he could trust his friends not to betray him. If Jason, king of the douches, could keep his secret and still look him in the eye then the rest of them would probably be okay. Some of them had likely already guessed—despite how hard he'd tried to hide it. It was just that…saying it out loud made the whole thing a lot more real.

The son of Hades arrived at the arena, disposition slightly stormier than before, and immediately Jason spotted him and began making his way towards him. This was a rather annoying spectacle, because, as a son of Jupiter (or Zeus, as the Camp Half-Blood campers called him), Jason was always surrounded by a throng of people. And if he got up to, say, greet the misfit son of the death god, then the entire focus of said people was on Nico.

And Nico _really_ didn't like being the center of attention.

Plus, he had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what Jason wanted to talk to him about and he was not looking forward to that conversation at all.

Ever since the other demigod had found out about Nico's feelings for Percy he had been a strong advocate for "Team Nico", trying to get the darker man to confess his feelings and get the whole thing off his chest. These pleas had especially gotten more frequent the older they got. A common conversation nowadays was something like:

"Nico, by the gods, you're twenty years old! Man the fuck up already!"

To which Nico would kindly reply:

"Shove it up your ass, Jason."

Not really his finest moment. But then again, when it came to Percy Jackson, it hardly ever was.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Nico asked, en lieu of a greeting. Greetings were for conversations he wanted to prolong, not ones he much rather have six months past the Ides of never.

Jason had been coming towards him with a half-smile, but the smile quickly faded when he realized his friend was going straight to the point. The blond demigod glanced around anxiously, trying to assess who might be listening in. Nico praised his sense.

"Yeah…" Jason began awkwardly, an almost nervous pattern to his voice, "I mean, we should probably talk. But maybe not, you know, _here_." Nico felt his cheeks heat up. So it was going to be that kind of conversation.

"Know what? Maybe today really isn't the day to be discussing all of this, Jason. I think you've made your stance perfectly clear—"

"But that's just it!" he hastily interrupted, still glancing around, "I really haven't. Look, this isn't the conversation you're expecting, okay? I promise. Just hear me out."

This was really not what Nico wanted to do with his last free day, but Jason was so agitated that the younger man thought he'd better go along just to see what was up. It couldn't be any worse than the last conversation they'd had.

"Okay, fine. Let's go." He allowed himself to be ushered forwards by the other man only stopping when he realized they were heading for the canoe lake.

"No." He stated firmly.

Jason went white as a sheet, "Of course, what was I thinking…" And then he turned them around and made a beeline in the other direction. He didn't seem to have a clear destination in mind, simply 'away'.

Nico realized with some surprise that he didn't seem to mind too much when Jason dragged him all over the place. Sure, it had been aggravating at first, but eventually he had gotten used to it. There was a certain tentative camaraderie between them, despite how paradoxically different they were, and having someone to talk to about his secret (as annoyingly persistent as that person _was_ ) was actually nice.

He could honestly say that he and Jason were friends.

And if this whole nightmare he called a life went to shit, he would at least know he had one person who didn't hate him or pity him. So there was that.

They reached a copse of trees just behind the Hera cabin, and as little as Nico liked the location or its mistress, he could admit it was a good place to go and not be overheard. Still, his expression soured a bit.

Jason laughed a bit at that, "I know, I know," he defended, "The location is terrible, but I wanted to make sure we weren't overheard."

"No one's coming _near_ this cabin, so I think we're safe." Nico agreed.

"Good." He seemed to steel himself, "Listen, Nico, about what I've been saying… About _Percy_ —"

"I need to stop you right there, okay?" the son of Hades broke in, spewing confidence he didn't quite feel, "You were right. I _do_ need to man up and grow a pair. I see that now. I've been delaying and dawdling for too long, and today I've decided to just let it all out and get it over with. You were absolutely right, and I couldn't have done it without you and your help." _Now please, please, please stop talking about it before I lose my nerve._

Jason's expression had taken a multitude of turns during the course of the speech—from nervous to pale, then slightly nauseous, and finally flat out sick. It both confused and hurt Nico. What happened to the friend who always assured him that his feelings were normal? Where was the guy who always pestered him about telling the truth? Now he was finally going to do it and suddenly his support was gone?

Jason started slowly, "I know how this is going to sound. And I really, really, _really_ don't want you to hate me, but you can't tell him, Nico. It's too late."

"Too late?" Nico felt his rage flare up, probably to cover his despair at hearing his worst fears voiced aloud, "This is my life, Jason! It's not going to be too late for me to finally be happy!"

"You know he's never going to give up Annabeth…"

"I know that! I wouldn't ask him to! All I want is to be heard, and understood, and for once to not have to feel like I'm hiding something from everybody! Percy is my best friend, and I want to be honest with him."

To his credit, Jason looked taken aback. But he was still resolute, "Nico why did you have to wait until now? I told you time and time again to tell him, and you take my advice _now_? Of all times?"

"You don't understand, Jason! I've wanted to tell him—needed to! I just…there haven't been words…until now. And now that I feel like I can go through with it I want to do it as quickly as possible. And that means today." Nico could feel his desperation seeping into his words and silently willed it down. Where was his confidence? Why was he always so weak? But now he wouldn't be weak. For once he would be strong and face his fears. And that's why he had to do this.

"It's selfish. It's manipulative and honestly I don't understand how you could want to be so cruel to someone you claim to love so much."

The words cut like knives. Wasn't love inherently selfish? "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? Why Leo said you had been looking for me?"

"I didn't want to believe it but I had a sneaking suspicion that you would plan something like this, and I wanted to try and stop you." Jason's pale hair rustled a bit in the breeze and it matched the upset storm in his eyes.

"I can't _not_ tell him, Jason. It's my last chance. My _only_ chance. I'll never get the nerve again if I don't."

His friend looked pained, "You said you know he'll never love you back. Can't you be satisfied with that? Why hurt yourself any further by stirring up what you'd rather let die?"

Nico smirked, mockingly, "I'm the Ghost King, remember? Just don't know when to let things die."

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I! If giving up on Percy was that easy I'd have done it ages ago, when it was more like hero worship than anything else. But it's not that easy. I need to hear it from his lips—hear Percy tell me from his own mouth. Otherwise I'll never let it go. I will eat at me until I die."

Jason scoffed, "Oh don't be so dramatic," he muttered. The two of them stood stalemate for a good minute before he spoke again, "So you're determined to do this then?"

"I am," Nico resolved, with more courage than he felt.

"Then so be it. I can't stop you. But I'm telling you Nico, all you'll do is cause a lot of hurt, all around."

"So be it."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours later had Nico setting up tables and chairs in the outside dining area in preparation of the feast that was taking place that evening. Somewhere in the mindless work of lifting the heavy oak tables from the dining hall and unfolding plastic chairs, he was left with a lot of time to think about his previous conversation with Jason.

Nico desperately wanted to be angry with him, but in a sad, sick way he knew his friend was right. His confession was going to bring nothing but pain, and yet he still felt like he needed todo it. He knew that Percy was never meant to be his, but if he'd never tried, there would always be this big 'what if?' Realistically there was no chance, but hope was always the last to leave.

Perhaps the curse of the Ghost King was that he was just too human.

He must have kicked a bit too hard at the chair he was unfolding, because he got a few odd stares from the campers who were setting up all around him. Tablecloths, silverware, the _good_ plates—they were really going all out. But given what was on his mind Nico wasn't in a partying mood.

Idly, he tugged a streamer from a decked-out pillar, crushing the tissue paper in his fist. That was how Annabeth found him, eyebrow raised, sporting a bemused smile.

"I knew you couldn't resist destroying the decorations," she said playfully.

Nico attempted a smile, "It's over the top."

"I know, but what can you do?" She said it almost whimsically, like she didn't really care if it was or not, she just was humoring him. Oddly he appreciated the effort.

She continued, "I was thinking we could use the cornucopia as a centerpiece, fill the tables with fragrant autumn fruits. What do you think?"

Nico gave her an odd look, "I'm the son of Hades. You know, lord of the underworld? Have you seen that place?" Annabeth shuddered, "You're probably better off asking one of the Aphrodite girls, like Piper."

It was Annabeth's turn to chastise, "I resent that comment!" she argued good-naturedly, "Everyone can appreciate beauty—not just the offspring of the love goddess!"

"Yeah, well... For what it's worth, I like the idea." It really would paint a beautiful scene—the tables bathed in the light of sunset, the smell of sweet fruit and a warm fire. And Percy and Annabeth sitting so close together that in the dim light their shadows would blend into one…

Nico drifted off into his thoughts for a moment. Why was it always so painful to picture them together? It had been so long now, and he was so tired of playing this game, and yet his heart ached to think of Percy in love with another, even Annabeth. He loved her—he did. She was kind and supportive, and one hell of a warrior. He couldn't even say that she didn't deserve Percy, because she did. They'd been a team longer than he'd known either of them, and there was something between them that was so _natural_ , it was like breathing.

"It is, you know. Worth something." Annabeth's calm statement startled him out of his musings. "It means a lot that you're here." Her voice, usually so calm and steady, grew quiet, and Nico knew that she didn't just mean _here_ in the literal sense, like right now. She meant here as in _here for us, with us, together_ …all those concepts that Nico had thought he'd abandoned long ago.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, "It means a lot to me too."

And she gave him a watery smile and he couldn't help but notice how happy she was, and how happy he was in return. It was painful, sure, but the degree of himself that belonged solely to Annabeth and their friendship felt very, very happy.

She surveyed the area, inspecting the last few campers still setting up and clapped her hands together purposefully. "It looks like they're finishing up here, so I'm gonna go and get ready. You'd better clean up too." She turned to go, but lingered a moment longer, "Thank you, ghost boy," she said. And then she was off.

Nico knew he should probably get ready for the evening's festivities, but he really felt more like just staying where he was, here by the overly decorated pillar in the beginnings of late afternoon, in a place where time stood still and he could hold on to the illusion that he could be with Percy forever. But unfortunately time would not stand still, and the young demigod knew that he would have to man up and face his fears eventually.

He resigned himself to a slow drudge back to his cabin to clean up.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he exited his cabin, now cleaned up and dressed nicer, Nico was both surprised and not to see Hazel there waiting for him. She was honestly his favorite person (barring Percy, and in a different manner, really) because she always seemed to know when he needed her. He'd never told her his secret—never had the stones—but Nico wasn't foolish enough to think she didn't know.

Her skin was caramel in the sunlight, her soulful eyes a deep chocolate, and she turned them on him with the saddest smile that if they young demigod hadn't already been suffering from heartbreak, he felt his heart might have broken again. Her smile lightened, though, as he drew nearer, and she said nothing but grasped him tightly in a hug.

"Jason told me," she murmured. Nico wanted to be angry for what seemed like the fifth time that day, but he just didn't have the energy. It was almost a relief, at this point, that she knew his deep dark secret. They would always be Nico and Hazel, and that would never change. Even now in her arms he felt a pillar of support radiating from her frame.

She pulled him deeper in a hug and he felt her hands clench in the fabric of his jacket, "It's okay Nico," she said softly, "I believe in you."

And then she slowly withdrew and cupped his cheek, holding a moment, and then she left.

This was it, Nico thought to himself, as he surveyed all his options. All the ways he could approach this—which would be the best? The least painful for everyone? How was Nico to know whether or not Percy already knew about all this? Was he really just dragging this along as some sort of self-flagellation? No, he thought, better to get it over with. It's too late now to go back.

All of the campers, friends and foes alike, were beginning to exit their cabins, dressed for the festivities, reveling in the warm, favorable breeze—Really, even the weather had to be perfect on this day. It was like Nico was a forgotten hope, clinging to the edges of Pandora's jar-thing, and everyone else got to enjoy the spoils of his unhappiness.

He saw Percy chatting excitedly with a group of friends below a group of trees near the canoe pond, and quickly walked over to him. He needed to steel himself before he lost his nerve.

Percy looked absolutely amazing, of course. His formal attire only made his skin look paler against his inky-black hair. The sea-green eyes that always stormed seemed deeper somehow. Perhaps it was the light, perhaps the occasion. Whatever it was, Nico was blown away by their beauty. Percy's smile grew wider as Nico came into view, and he reached his arms out as if to say _'come over here and give me a hug!'_. Nico did, and it was simultaneously the best and worst feeling in the world. One part of him sang _Percy Percy Percy_ and the other was screaming _not mine! not mine_!

"Hey Percy," he managed to get out in between the rapid beats of his heart, "Can I speak to you for a minute? It shouldn't take long."

"For you? Anything!" Anything except what Nico truly wanted.

They drew away from the crowd, and Nico steadily ignored Jason's nervous-anxious gaze as they left. It wasn't too far from the rest of the group—people started assembling on the docks by the lake, where scented candles and roses had been set to float mesmerizingly on its surface. It truly was a sight to behold.

"Percy, I—"Nico started, but the other man was too fast.

Percy held up a hand, "First, I want to say a few things myself," he smiled. "Nico you are my best friend in the whole world. All those amazing things we accomplished—that was largely because of you. I'm telling you because you don't get told this often enough, but Nico, we love you. You're one of us."

 _We_ love you. You're one of _us_. Painful, painful words.

"I know," Nico's words were thick in his throat.

"This whole thing…honestly it—it scares the crap outta me! I'm not sure I'd be able to do it if it weren't for you standing by my side. For that I honestly can't thank you enough."

Why was it always like this? Why was everything always like this?

"I will always be there for you, Perce, gods, I—"

"No, really, thank you. You are…" Percy seemed to be caught in the moment, just staring at Nico with those turbulent green eyes. Nico fervently wished he could just say something—anything! "You are the _best_ best man a guy could ask for. I wouldn't want anyone but you standing up there with me today. I want you to know that."

Those words—why couldn't they mean what he wanted them to mean?

The group had started out to the docks and were now draping themselves along the water banks, some even in canoes or rafts, the red of the sunset and the watery candlelight creating a sensual glow. It was so romantic. The perfect wedding.

"Shoot!" Percy cried, "It's getting late, we'd better head over." He was halfway through turning when he did a double take.

_It's selfish. It's manipulative._

"I can't believe I almost forgot!" he laughed, putting a hand to his absent-minded head.

_It's okay Nico. I believe in you._

Nico could see Annabeth, dressed in white, twirling around to see the fabric flow against the sunset.

_Thank you, ghost boy._

Percy's gaze was steadfast, trusting, even loving. He rested one hand on Nico's shoulder.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?"

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Hey guys, this is my first PJO universe fic. Honestly I just finished the books after learning of them like a week ago (I zoomed through them like crazy!), and had to write my take on this. It kind of evolved, and it's REALLY angsty, but I hope I captured the balance and made it believable as well as sad. I was definitely sad while writing it. I dunno about you folks, but I'm caught in this awkward situation where I seriously love Annabeth, and she and Percy are amazing, but I also want Nico to be happy and think he and Percy are cute... Ah well. What can you do? Can't blame Nico for liking Percy...I have a weird crush on him too (which may/may not be creepy cause I'm twenty, lol). 
> 
> As always, I'd love to know what you think! 
> 
> ~Kamaxi


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